The 12 Ways to Build Rapport Fast
One of the key attributes of a successful entrepreneur has long been proven to be the ability to quickly build rapport with people. Here are what I've found to be 12 ways you can accelerate the rapport building process. Essentially, they can be used in any situation to quickly build relationships. In this post I'd like to highlight their value in quickly building rapport with people you’ve never met.
If you are intentional about working on the points below, you will definitely make a positive impression on everyone you meet, and you'll stand out from the crowd as someone who cares.
When you meet people either in person or over the phone, within seconds you form an opinion of them. And you know darn well that THEY do the same thing when meeting YOU. You can use this natural tendency to positively influence how people view you. And you can focus on the12 items outlined in this posting to accelerate this process and build rapport in a super short period of time.
Whether you are trying to make a great first impression on your date or with a prospective client, applying these lessons will allow you to quickly connect with people.
With the exception of #2, #4 & #5 below, each of the items below apply whether you are in person, on a video call, or simply on the phone... And YES, #3 "SMILE" DOES COUNT on the phone... There is a profound and positive difference in you voice inflections, tonality, and pronunciation when you are smiling... So SMILE ... even before the phone connection is made.. it IS important!
1. Be On Time—When you are on time for a scheduled meeting, call or appointment, you show your respect for people’s time. You also show that you honor your commitments, you are dependable and can be trusted. If you're late, you do the opposite, and undermine your ability build a valued relationship.
Starting today, make it a point to arrive five minutes early for all your appointments, regardless of whether they are business and personal. (For phone conversations, 1 or 2 minutes early is good; Conference Calls and Webinars, 5 - 10 minutes early shows your intent.)
2. Look Good—The first impression you make on people is a lasting impression one. It begins with the way you look. A good appearance includes the way you groom yourself, the clothing and jewelry you wear.
All these little things combine to form your overall “look.” You want to make a great first impression. So make sure you look like someone who takes pride in your appearance. It does requires a little extra effort, but it's well worth it.
3. Smile—When you meet people for the first time, the first thing they'll notice is your overall look, and then their attention goes immediately to your face. Offer a warm, welcoming and sincere smile and they'll be instinctively drawn to you. The smile must be "real" and is to show an authentic interest in the other person, rather than the fake half-hearted smile that almost everyone else uses.
Not only should you focus on your smile when you first meet a person, you also want to focus on smiling during your time together. The more you smile, the more people will like you.
4. Make Eye Contact—When you are engaged in a conversation with someone, make sure you maintain comfortable eye contact with this person. When you make eye contact, focus on communicating your sincere interest in the person, rather than just starring into his or her eyes. (And again, you show honesty and approachability if you let your "eyes" smile). It’s a small, but very powerful difference.
5. Your Handshake—The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness, and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will set the tone for your relationship.
Men, when you meet other men, be the first to offer your hand. When meeting women, wait for them to offer their hand. Women, when you meet both men and women in a business environment, immediately offer a firm handshake. Men and women who initiate a handshake are generally viewed as being confident.
6. Make Your Welcome Greeting Stand Out—Take 10 seconds and make them feel like the most important person on this earth. Most folks simply shake a person’s hand and say the standard, “nice meeting you”, so here's your chance to stand out from the crowd as someone who is truly pleased to meet them.
7. Repeat Their Names— Have you ever met someone for the first time who hardly looked you in your eyes, said the standard nice to meet you greeting without any authenticity behind their words and couldn’t remember your name five seconds later? What impression did this person make on you?
When you greet people, make it a point of saying their names in your initial conversation. For example, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sharon.” And then when the conversation concludes, use their name again such as, “Sharon, it was a real pleasure getting to know you.” When you say people’s names you are showing them they are important to you.
8. Be Friendly—While this seems so obvious, so few people are intentional about coming across friendly when meeting people. Most people act like it is an every day occurrence and don’t think about the impression they are making on others. When people are friendly it is generally just during their initial greeting, but then they forget it’s important.
Not only do you want to be intentional about being friendly when you meet people, but you want to focus on being friendly during your entire time together. When you are authentically friendly it is reflected through your facial expressions, body language, voice tone and through the words you speak. Think of the friendliest people you know and learn from their example.
9. Show an Interest in Them—One of the keys, if not the most important one in building successful relationships is your ability to show a sincere interest- both in the person and things that are important to that person. The key with this point is to focus on them, NOT you!
By expressing genuine interest in someone’s qualities, background, stories, hobbies, career or family you are demonstrating in interest in them. When asked questions about these things, in most cases they lite up like a light bulb and will talk with great enthusiasm about them. It was one thing you should focus on in EVERY appointment, because it made an incredible difference.
10. Listen With Interest—Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. Listening is more than keeping your mouth shut while the other person is talking. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it.
When you're having a conversation with people, they can instinctively tell how interested you really are in the conversation. This is communicated through your body language, the questions you ask and the expressions on your face... AND YES, even on the phone... so be careful! If the subject is not of interest you have to be extra careful about how you are projecting myself. If needed, do show interest, but gently and tactfully "steer" the conversation back on track.
11. Compliment Them—When people take the time to offer you a sincere compliment, how does that make you feel about them? Are you naturally drawn to people who speak positively of you? When you meet people and begin talking, look for the things in which you can compliment them. When you identify something, then look for the right time to offer your compliment with a feeling of genuineness and authenticity.
When you are intentional about building relationships with people you should always look for the little ways by which you can compliment or encourage them.
12. Model Them—Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably attract to people into your life that are similar to you. Modeling is a technique I learned from Anthony Robbins, which is when you mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others.
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As an example, when you are around people who talk softly, then YOU moderate your voice and speak softly. If they talk slowly, then you do my best to match their speed and speak slowly. If they lean back in their chair, then you will casually lean back. If they lean forward, you will wait a couple seconds then slowly lean forward. Just remember, the more people intuitively feel you have in common, the more they will be attracted to you.
If you work on the 12 rapport accelerators above, people will be drawn to you like a magnet. If you are intentional about using these lessons in your career, there is no doubt you will enjoy greater success. If you use them in your personal life, you will build more meaningful relationships and become a more valued friend.
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